LAWWRUH.

In the aftermath of celebration, I find myself pondering just how much time we waste not celebrating the most important people and times in our lives.
My fathers 50th celebration was a night filled with love and laughter and honoring his life as it has been, and showing and appreciating him and each other together, just as any particular milestone birthday or celebratory event is. However, as a celebration of lives lived and lost draws nearer for me, I cant help but wonder why we don’t celebrate relationships and special moments in people’s lives whilst we still have the chance to do it with them? And why in death, when the only reason youd be gathered is because somebody isn’t here anymore, do we deliver, make the effort and toast a life?
Aside from the obvious reason of the final send off, and honoring a life as it was lived, why is it so important to celebrate once they have gone, and not when they’re here? It seems the most common response is ” there will always be next time” and that next party to attend. It’s funny that we all rely on the one thing we can’t ever guarantee; another day.
I chose parties and laughter and love shared amongst all the people I can share it with, only since I’ve learnt how it feels to have to celebrate a love and life in memory, and not in person.

I’m finding it difficult where words should come so easily. When there is so much you should say, nothing ever sounds right. When there’s all that you can’t say, it seems the things you do seem Ill fitting. Why is it that we can’t just feel how others feel, instead of going off particular words a person selects to portray how they feel.
Writers block when you aren’t even a writer?

Searching for a pug is consuming my life. Where arrreeee you marrrvvviin gayyyee?!

On getting home from a whirl wind two years abroad I have had nothing but a string of unsuccessful jobs, the later being they don’t actually pay their staff, at all. I’ve experienced a double tragedy, moving again to unfamiliar places and this morning my front door fell off. Actually off it’s hinges. I’ve been Internet scammed, received third degree sunburn and missed a kindred soul immensely. I just wondered if anything else wants to go wrong, if you’d please come forward. Come on, fucking hit me!! 2012, please don’t be a cunt to me.

After living with a big friendly, mischievous Labrador and unexpectedly becoming his foster parent, I grew exceptionally fond of having a Furry friend in my life. It seems dogs aren’t just men’s best friends, and that in the darkest of personal places and in the most unfortunate of circumstances, they’re what gets us up every morning, knowing that this little life depends on you, and loves you for all that you do. It seemed that in return, billy offered comfort and companionship in a lonely and devastating time, and since he has moved on to his new home and so have I, there has been an undeniable ache inside of me that I hadn’t expected.
I find it strange and wonderfully fascinating that all the human comfort and compassion from family and friends can’t fill this void. After almost being Internet scammed with a black pug, I have turned down the rescue dog route, only to realise that most dogs are completely unpractical to adopt. I do not have the space for a hyperactive jack russell, nor the patience for a Maltese X with water on the brain.

I understand it is morally right to adopt a pre loved friend who’s in a rough patch, but am I wrong for wanting a designer breed? The perfect combination of size, health, age and breed wouldn’t ever wind up in a shelter, and I don’t know whether these factors would be the reason my dog didn’t end up in need of rescue down the line. Shouldn’t a dog be a thought out, planned process? Shouldn’t I share my home with one who suits my lifestyle as a whole, and not one who only suits my current situation?

Maybe I am just justifying the fact that I am a terrible consumer of a citizen who supports dog breeding and all its unethical and immoral values, or maybe I am willing to spend the coin on a companion who I know will satisfy my need for dependence for all it’s life, and so won’t contribute to the thousands of pets in shelters. Or maybe I’m just shallow, and prefer a beautiful brand new pup instead of one who was found in a sewer.

Either way, I’m confident a Cavador is the perfect designer toy puppy.